tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100452276682801125.post8029469175041634438..comments2024-02-14T06:42:21.988-06:00Comments on Context and variation: My IVF story: conclusionsKateClancyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10266484364483890008noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100452276682801125.post-6992853594948286712010-10-12T09:43:43.815-05:002010-10-12T09:43:43.815-05:00Thanks Anon 1, Connie, and Anon 2. Connie, I do th...Thanks Anon 1, Connie, and Anon 2. Connie, I do think you're right that we seem to have little tolerance for gray areas in the US. We see this in reproductive choice and religion, but also I feel like I've seen it in how we view our leaders. Obama was our savior until he was a major disappointment; Clinton was amazing until his cheating became more widely known and documented (while many respect him again, there are still people who feel what he did was permanently unforgivable), etc etc. It's like we can't put things into context to understand actions, we have to love or hate something independent of context. I think it's possible to applaud or condemn an action, while understanding contextual events that led to them, and therefore softening my understanding.<br /><br />Anon 2, I completely agree with you and experienced many of the same things while pregnant. This quote from your comment was my favorite: "If mothers aren't treated as individuals in their own right, how can we have a reasoned conversation about the range of reproductive choices?" Well said!<br /><br />I hope your adoption process goes well, and I'm so sorry your children are being objectified and dehumanized. That is disappointing. At least you are continuing to maintain the strong, important perspective that your children are humans and that you will all gain from the love you share with each other.KateClancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10266484364483890008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100452276682801125.post-25241294106753860492010-10-12T08:33:22.726-05:002010-10-12T08:33:22.726-05:00Excellent post, thanks. You know, as I sit here t...Excellent post, thanks. You know, as I sit here thinking about the types of comments that IVF articles seem to generate, I wonder if some of what your describing leaks over into the way people treat women who choose to be mothers regardless of the method chosen. A friend of mine who recently had a child said that it was almost as if people considered her community property while she was pregnant. People would come up to her and assume they could put their hands on her abdomen, they would verbally critique the contents of her grocery basket, they told her unprompted what they thought she should do to have a healthy baby, etc. And then, when she had the child, she lost her identity entirely: people keep calling her "John's" mother and not by her name. Her husband doesn't have the same problem. All back to that breeder status you mentioned above? (though not in quite as hideous a form...) If mothers aren't treated as individuals in their own right, how can we have a reasoned conversation about the range of reproductive choices? <br /><br />Interestingly (at least to me and maybe to you too), all the agency training and reading that my husband and I have done to prepare for adoption makes it seem like we will continue to be treated as individuals, but our children will be treated more like objects by some. So, for example, we're likely to get questions like, "So where did you get them?" "How much did they cost?" "What's wrong with them?" "Oh, they are so lucky you took them." Ugh! Makes my skin crawl. <br /><br />On the plus side, at least we've been given the heads up about this kind of thing. When IVF looked like it might be a viable option for us, we were unprepared for the nastiness of the attitudes of some. Maybe there needs to be a pamphlet on crappy people made available during the initial consult.<br /> <br />Thanks again for one of the best sets of articles on IVF I've read in a long time. What a marvelous technique!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100452276682801125.post-69392302198855905102010-10-12T05:17:00.801-05:002010-10-12T05:17:00.801-05:00Thanks for your thoughts. I had my IVF done in Sou...Thanks for your thoughts. I had my IVF done in South Africa at the time (we were living there), by a gynaecologist who specialised in fertility (and menopause), and we were most likely blissfully unaware of what other people might think of IVF. But then the US strikes me as being a place where everything seems to be painted starkly in black and white - there are no nuances...<br /><br />I had my baby 10 days before my 39th birthday, so I am definitely in the older, infertile women group. However, we underwent IVF mainly due to my husbands low sperm count (but my eggs did not seem to great either, although the rest is working fine). In France (where we live now), the national health services pays for IVF until the age of 43 in women...<br /><br />And as far as I am concerned - there is nothing unnatural in IVF - you just increase the chances of egg meeting sperm. The rest (whether the egg is fertilised, the blastocysts develops, the blastocyst implants) is up to NATURE again (and not to God, or anyone else). <br /><br />Isn't it great that the father of IVF got the nobel prize?<br /><br />I wish you all the best with your new baby<br />ConnieConniehttp://cbkrugathome.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7100452276682801125.post-7411426583156306402010-10-12T02:29:36.829-05:002010-10-12T02:29:36.829-05:00Thank you for these articles! =)Thank you for these articles! =)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com